Long Post for today every one! :) Hope you enjoy it! Please comment and Recomend this weblog.!

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I'm that girl. The one afraid of lightening, and has this weird fear of a clown living under her bed. I'm the girl who writes down her emotions, and if you can tell something's wrong - you're one of the only. 

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live your life how you want. who cares if it’s not good enough for someone else. 

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I hate how one day you will realize that the sweetest words were lies.

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I won’t block you, or delete you. I’m keeping you there so you’re able to see how fucking happy I am without you.

Theres two days in every week you cant worry about. 
Yesterday & tomorrow, you cant change what happened yesterday
& cant control what will happen tomorrow so live for today.

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When I walk out for good, when I really gain the strength i need then maybe you will see. Maybe you can look back and say, “Wow, that girl really did love me.” To tell you the truth, I don’t have much to offer. But i’ll still give you everything I’ve got, even if it’s barely a thing at all. I’ll give you late nights, long hugs. Someone to talk to, someone to care for, someone who will always be there. A hand to hold, somebody to lean on. And if that’s not enough, just know you have all of me. I hope that’s enough. 

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People think that if you love somebody hard enough, then everything is just gonna work out. People are wrong.

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She won’t call you, you have to call her. She won’t come talk to you, you should go talk to her. She’s not going to let you act stupid and act like she likes it. You should just be you around her. When you’re with a group of friends, she isn’t going to run into your arms no matter how much she wants to. You need to come up behind her and wrap your arms around her and let her friends get jealous. She loves you more than you can imagine, no matter how much she doesn’t show it. but you boy, you need to show her how much you love her so she isnt afraid to show it back.

Fine, I'll admit it: I think of you every second of everyday. You're my favourite subject to talk about. When I hug you I wish I was allowed to never let you go. Most of my dreams have you in them. I always get excited when I get to see you again. So yeah, I guess you can say that I've completely and totally fallen for you. Does that make you happy? 

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She's completely unexplainable. you think she's a good girl , but when you get to know her , she's everything. she's crazy. she's funny. she's honest. and you'll never know what she will do next 

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Me without you is like a pot head not high, a plane that don't fly, a best with no buy, a hooker with no luck and a hoe that won't suck. 

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If I ever admit it to him, if I ever tell him how I felt for all those months. It won't be for a long time, it'll be after he's found someone, and after I've found someone. It'll be discreet and brisk, casual conversation, the words will just pop off the screen or out of my mouth and they'll just stand there in the air and wait for a response that will never come. The question that will go unanswered is did he feel the same? 

I will not be the first one to speak and if he never calls 
me again. I'll always think of him fondly as an asshole.

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sometimes the only thing that people see is what you did. when in fact, they should be looking at why you did it.

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Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go, and still have the feeling that you wanted to stay?

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I love your instant messages at ten p.m., when you know I'm stressing over homework. I love your six a.m. wake up calls, just to make sure I was the first voice you heard in the morning. I also love when you randomly text me in class, just to see how my day is going and even though you're filled with flaws, I just am completely in love with you, period. 

This is for the girls who don't always win, who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them to do things next to the impossible. The girls who laugh, smile, cry and think all on a daily basis. The girls who like, learn, and regret. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who learn the hard way and live to tell about it. The real girls.

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go up behind her and tickle her.
she'll scream, and yell, and tell you to stop,
but i promise she'll secretly love it.
you're her entire world, kid.

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you eat, you're fat. you don't eat, you're a freak. you drink, you're an alcoholic. you don't drink, you're a pussy. you read, you're a nerd. you don't read, you're stupid. you tell a secret, you're an attention seeker. you don't tell a secret, you're still attention seeking. you let someone in, you're easy. you don't let someone in, you're too uptight. you smoke, you think you're cool. you don't smoke, you're a loser. you've had sex, you're a slut. you haven't had sex, you're a frigid little bitch. you wear make up, you're a slag. you don't wear make up, you're ugly. you can't please anyone. ever. 

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And no other guy in the world ever made me feel like my hearts on fire.

Listen bud, she's over you. She may have learned the hard way, but at least she's learned. She's not tangled in those strings anymore. You no longer control her emotions. She's free, and we'd all like to thank you for that.

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I am a girl. I have feelings. I over-react. I underestimate. I over estimate. I over think everything. I look too deep into everything's meaning. I dream big. My expectations are high, even though we learn not to expect anything. I can tell when i am being lied to because Ive become accustom to believing them. Yes, I get jealous and I am always scared to loose the ones I love. I am a lover, not a fighter. I am different, i think we all are & id be worried if were were the same. I have over-reactive tear ducts, which comes with having a big heart. My hearts been broken; mended...now happily in love by the same boy. I have a great imagination, often in its own wonderland. I like old books, second hand shops, thunderstorms, cheese & rainbows. Ive been let down & punched around, but i still manage to stand on my own two feet. I dont like anything wriggly or slimey. I miss being a kid ; its simplicity. Im a nervous wreck 99% of the time. 

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i don’t think having a boyfriend or girlfriend completes you, or is the only thing that can make you happy. sure, they’ll make you smile till your jaw aches, laugh until you cry, but i’ve always believed that you have to be happy on your own before you can be happy with someone else. 

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You've got to accept the fact that life isn't a fairy tale, things aren't always happily ever after. Things like magic wishes, Prince Charmings and true love don't happen in real life. Magic wishes come from money, Prince Charming's a shallow idiot with a bad haircut and overpriced clothes. And true love? Ha, true love is one-sided, Ace. You love her, she loves someone else. She loves you, you love someone else. Never quite works out does it? So you end up with some actor pretending to be your true love. Real considerate of someone to let you know reality was like that before being thrown into it. 'If you wish, it'll happen.' Well, wish in one hand and crap in the other and see which one fills up faster. Welcome to reality. Enjoy your stay. 

There is no brick wall between us, No great wall of China.

It's just us two, roaming the world as two best friends. -@designeravenue

 

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They say a soul mate is your true love, but I believe its your best friend.

I mean who is by your side through it all? 

Through the very first day of high school when you were nervous.

Through the very first time you got bullied and felt alone.

Through the very first time your heart broke.

The answers to those are equal. Your best friend. -@designeravenue

 

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 I make you cry so much and I don't stop. I want you to know that no matter how many times I tease you, I'll love you forever. -@designeravenue

 

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 You are amazing and it is true. No matter how many times I say No. Your answer is always yes. -@designeravenue

 

 

 



Let me tell you something about Dumbledore. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even… Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first girlfriend Bellatrix who was totally gorgeous but then she moved to Indiana, and Dumbledore was like, weirdly jealous of her. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Bellatrix, he’d be like, "Why didn’t you call me back?" And I’d be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was an all-boys pool party, I was like, "Dumbledore, I can’t invite you, because I think you’re a homo." I mean I couldn’t have a homo at my party. There were gonna be boys there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? He was a HOMO. So then his mom called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him, and he came back in the fall for high school, all of his hair was cut off and he was totally weird, and now I guess he’s on crack. -Voldemort



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I'm not sure how to tell you this 
but here it goes. You know 
one of those pour your heart out kinda things, 
you know what I'm talking about, 
the ones where you say that 'I love you'.
And I'm not sure how I can ever make it without
you in my life, with me for everyone of my last breaths.
How I cant wait to stand at the alter and say 'I do'
or be in a hospital room delievering our first child.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I love you &
if you will let me I plan on you being in my life forever.



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But miles don't make your image fade, they don't erase your secret smile.
Everything reminds me. I feel the grasp of your hand still, 
your face now in the glass, you are bent so close we nearly kiss, 
although we never will. Not again.



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& ultimately , he's going to find out how you chew, how you sip, how you hum, how you dance, how you smell at  every point in the day; the fact that most  of your friends are shallow, that you hate sitting in an aisle seat, how you sometimes can't seem to listen, how you get hyper when you travel, how certain games or shows make you really happy, how you get cranky because you're too stupid to remember to sleep, how you don't like the way you look in most of your pictures, how you can't get off the phone when you're late because you don't want to sound like you don't care, how you have no ability to save receipts; he's going to know all of it..  everything about you, he's going to know, & he's still going to love you.







you make me happy.
and i really don't wanna go.
please let me make you happy.
i want to, just so you know.



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so when you start to miss me remember
you were the one that broke my heart
you were the one that made me cry
you were the one that turned your back
and you were the one that let me go



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what would it take for me to be with you?
i swear i'd rip my heart out,
if you said you'd be impressed..
please be impressed.
i'd go so far to please you,
but i bet you wouldn't care at all.



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I'm done falling for you
remember
I've already fell
and you werent there to catch me
I guess you lied
I thought i could depend on you
forever and always
I guess youre just one big mistake









Maybe you're just scared because for once, 
someone actually wants to be with you.
-A Walk To Remember



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A Second to see you
A glance to fall in love with your smile 
A year to get the nerve to talk to you
A few extra months to get to know you
And 5 months of waiting for a commitment
Trust me girls don't wait for just anyone 
we have to be in love in order to wait



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So there's this boy, 
we argue a lot. 
He makes fun of me because i can only 
stay on a subject for like 5 seconds 
and then i'm on to the next one. 
He listens to me when i'm sad 
and handles me when i'm mad. 
I tell him I hate him 
and he responds with, "no you don‘t ." 
Yeah he's not prince charming,
but to me he couldn't be more perfect.



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You don't let people in, it's hard for you and once you do, you don't want to let them go, and when they fuck up, you're like why did you do that to me? I gave you my feelings. I did everything for you ; and you screwed me over.







I hate being put in this position. I'm forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You're the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I'm better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go. But I guess that emptiness is better than constant hurt.



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I know he's not perfect, but he tries so hard for me. But I'm thankful he isn't. How boring would that be? It's the little imperfections and the sudden change of plans, like when he misreads directions and we're lost, but still holding hands. Yeah, I live for the moments like that.



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When you truly care for someone, you don't look for faults. You don't look for answers. You don't look for mistakes. Instead, you fight the mistakes. You accept the faults and you overlook excuses. The measure of love is when you love without measure. There are rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and who loves you in return. So once you have it, don't let it go. The chance may never come your way again.



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I dont think about you a lot.
I dont think about you sometimes before I sleep.
I dont miss you a lot.
I think about you constantly.
I think about you every night before I go to sleep.
I miss you more than I've missed anything. <3







And no matter what, no matter how hard it's going to be, not matter how long it takes, I will be happy again. I will smile, I will laugh, I certainly will not cry. I refuse to continue crying over something as trivial as a boy. Especially over someone as silly as you. I will not let you get to me any longer. I will not allow myself to feel this way anymore, I refuse to let you hurt me any further. You will get what is coming to you. And when that happens, when you fall to the floor, when you reach out to me, just know I won't be there. I won't catch you, I won't tell you it's going to be alright, I won't be there. Because you never were. I will not care for you; because you, you never did. 



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There's a point in your life when you get tired of chasing everyone and trying to fix everything. It's not giving up; it's realizing you don't need certain people, the bullshit, and drama they bring.



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You're not my type. You're not supposed to be the guy I dream about. But for some reason, I'm not trying to pick myself back up, because there's no one else who I would rather fall for



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We are all guilty of saving old messages from someone who became really special in our lives. Going to familiar places giving us that small twinge in our hearts and smile on our faces. It's simply bittersweet cause every time that person crosses our minds, we remember the instances when we were complete.







You can only push a girl away for so long until she walks out of your life on her own. So be careful --And make sure this is really what you want, Because once she turns around... she isn't coming back. 



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Love doesn't hurt. If it hurts, it isn't love. If it hurts, he isn't worth it. The one person who is worth it won't let anything hurt you.



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Have you ever noticed that the more special you treat someone, the more that someone takes you for granted?



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and holding back your feelings,
may save you from others, but it
will never save you from yourself.







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Hey! Sorry for not being able to update for like 938493843 years....I was super busy plus it is summer. I have decided to announce I can not post regularly and I will not continue doing the letters. I will try posting a new weblog at least TWICE a week. I have been pretty busy lately so I am super sorry.

Here is an update to get you started:) I may update again tomorrow, because of the time I've kept some of you waiting!

PLEASE REC'D AND COMMENT THIS WEBLOG :)! IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE ANOTHER ONE IN THE NEXT DAY !:D

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This is the story of the boys who loved you;
Who love you now and loved you then.
And some were sweet, some were cold, and snuffed you 
& some just laid around in bed.

 

I want to be the surgeon that cuts you open,
that fixes all of life's mistakes.
I want to be the house that you were raised in; 
the only place that you feel safe.

 

I am not depressed nor happy. I don't care enough to be anything. I am on that fine line in between, where there is no joy or no pain and it sounds ideal but its not, its nothing.

 

To know yourself, to be yourself & to love yourself
is the greatest struggle which we will ever know.

 

Remember love doesn't find you on its own. So, when people say your time will come if you just wait around. That is not true, how is love supposed to find you if you are hiding somewhere. Love will find you if you are out in the open, because someday you will be the greatest attraction to someone special. That is when you know love has found you, and you allowed it to find you. -designeravenue :)

 

Since this is goodbye and you're walking away right now. All I can ask is for you to remember me as the girl who loved you most and the one who never let you go after all the times you hurt her. Someday when you remind yourself of the past that contained me, you will regret ever letting me go. By the time you try getting me back, you will see that I have left your side. I may love you forever but a bigger part of me loves someone else now, and I since I never hurt you before I am glad I hurt you now. -designeravenue :)

 

It hurts me to be near you, and I can never hurt you so follow my instructions and I will show you self-destruction. -designeravenue :)

 

I've never lit a match, with intent to start a fire,
but recently the flames are getting out of control.
call me a name, kill me with words.
forget about me, it's what I deserve

 

If it still hurts, than you still care. If you are in denial, you're only going to accept it sooner or later. Remember, if you choose later I may not be here for you then. My heart has taken enough of you and your mess, I remember when I was a whole organ. I took it for granted when it was a happy heart, now that my happiness is gone, I will not be taking for granted the bit of happy I have left. So this is my goodbye... -designeravenue :)

 

I'm not sorry if things aren't the same, but the sleepless nights are hardly worth the cheapness of your game. And if you know what I mean, then live for yourself. Because life is too short to waste it on somebody else.

 

She won't make a sound, alone in this fight with herself. And the fears whispering if she stands she'll fall down. She wants to be found. The only way out is through everything she's running from wants to give up and lie down. So stand in the rain, stand your ground, stand up when it's all crashing down. You stand through the pain, you won't drown. And one day, whats lost can be found when you stand in the rain.

 

You're only happy when I'm wasted, I point my finger but I just can't place it. Feels like I'm fallin' in love, when I'm fallin' to the bathroom floor. I remember how you tasted I've had you so many times, lets face it. Feels like I'm falling in love alone.

 

It's all the same, we all make mistakes & if you didn't notice, I'm taking this for all its worth. If it's a game, and these are the stakes, I know I got the best shot, for taking you out of the race

 

Just be pretty but naive, anything you hear is what you believe. Let the rhyme get stuck in your head, Wish you had undressed me in your head. It's the low before the high, It's been so long you thought you would die. When you wake up hungover, you wish you were sober.

 

 

Sometimes you get into a situation. Sometimes things just happen. You open a door and walk through it and suddenly there's no getting back. I'm not trying to make excuses; it's just the way life is.

 

I'm afraid of him, and that is the truth. I am afraid he will end up being just like everyone else, just like every other mistake in my past. Now, I know I may be judging him incorrectly but I don't know if I can take the chance to believe in him. I can't handle falling apart again. -designeravenue :)

 

Take nothing but photos, leave nothing but footsteps, & kill nothing but time. Because here's to the nights that turned into mornings & the friends that turned into family.

 

it's where the girls are ditsy and mouthy; the boys are cocky and overprotective. where walking on rocks turns into "falling in" and getting soaked. where the girls can't swim and the boys are happy to help if it means skin on skin contact. it's the boys in theyre boxers, and the girls and theyre flip flops.the sands sticking to your feet and your wet hairs a mess. it's the narrow back road in a bronco, and fighting for the front seat. it's chasing after eachother, and making moves. it's having eachother's back; and knowing you've always got a friend.  it's standing on the bridge watching the moon light shimmer over the water as it crashes against the rocks. it's making memories with the people you'll never forget. It's the river.

 

little league '93 taught me how to face defeat, good thing theres no mercy rule in love cause i would long be beat. hit the ground, look around, but your nowhere to be found. accept my loss, and head back to the mound.

 

 

I'm a self-destructive girl and I blame the world. I need to pick myself back together before it is all too late. I know I've screwed up but what if I never am okay. People always blame me for this insomnia scene but, it's not my fault. When my world is falling apart, I hate blaming myself the next thing I got to blame is the world. -designeravenue :)

 

i have been lucky in my life to know freedom, unlike your mother who was a prisoner of her fate. simple things didn't interest her, whereas just the sunshine could keep me happy for days on end.

 

and yes i forgive you; but i never really blamed you. i know you didn't do it intentionally; because i'm sure you didn't know you had the ability. the ability to break my heart. 

 

I'd give him another chance, since I never gave up. It seemed like I moved on, but all I did was pick myself up and try being happy. If you have to know, you were always at the top of my heart.

 

she's a backseat driver; a drama provider.an instant, update of the world. she's a first class lier, a constant forgetter. she's attractive but bitter.

 

i used to hang on to every word. each line was more absurd. kept me so insecure, but now thats over. she taught me how to trust, taught me to believe in us, then she taught me how to cuss, that bitch. its overr.

 

 

they say she's an ice princess; cold like ice. it's not a mistake if you do it twice. tell the lie; play the game. love or hate? it's all the same. win or lose; i like the pain.

 

don't play this game with me.you can't talk to me about being faithful when you know nothing about the concept.you have no right to tell me what to do. especially when you taught me how to be this way.

 

no matter what i do.i can't get rid of you. too many memories fill my room,you're in everything i do. your shirts in the closet, you pictures in an album. they were lost but i found them. found them and fell in love again.can't seem to get rid of how i felt back then. i can't get over the memories or the ache. i cant just forget my first love, my first heartbreak.

 

he showed me you can find the good in anybody. if you give them a chance,benefit of a doubt, sometimes people dissappoint you. sometimes they suprise you,but you never really get to know them until you listen to whats in their heart.

 

I walk with confidence, but i'm freaking out inside. I'm searching for happiness but it tends to run and hide. People tell me i'm amazing but it doesn't seem to help. Compliments aren't worth a thing if you can't impress yourself. I would do anything just to have some self esteem. I wish i could break my habit of constantly being mean. Compassion isn't needed. No, i don't want sympathy. i just want someone to keep it straight with me. Someone to tell me i'm not always right. Someone who will actually MAKE me apologize. Someone who won't always spoil me, someone kind of tough. Someone who won't GIVE me what i want. but will instead make me WORK to be good enough.

 

and your dropped the note and we changed key. you changed urself,and i changed me. i really didnt see us singing through this. then u screamed the bridge, and i cried the verse. and our chorus came out unrehearsed. and u smiled all the way through it. i guess maybe thats what hurt worse.

 

fact;; I miss February Air.

 

Song of the day: Set the fire to the third bar - Snow Patrol

 

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I love you all :)

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Ps. A lot of these quotes are mine as you see there is credits, hope you enjoy..I did try but it is late...not my best but definitely up there!